The Bachelor: NFL Wide Receiver Edition

“Vincent Jackson, will you accept this rose?” No, it’s not some new reality television show, It’s NFL free agency time! But, if you think about it, doesn’t it really remind you of an episode of The Bachelor? Teams vying to impress and sweep free agents off their feet, while players are working out trying to find the right team for them. Is it the right connection? Will it be a match made in football heaven? What is really outrageous are the millions of dollars these players will be paid. Whether it’s an extension, long-term contract, or just a one-year deal, does all the money really reflect the performance of these players each Sunday? It really makes you wonder if every match made in football heaven will really go the distance. With each rose given, teams are wondering if their selection will bloom into a long lasting relationship, or wilt and die like a bad reality television finale. Let’s take a look at the potential brides-to-be:

Vincent Jackson

San Diego’s beloved VJ just signed a 5 year deal with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers for $55.55 million. We all knew he wouldn’t come cheap, but I won’t forget the inconsistencies he had last season with San Diego. With VJ on my fantasy team, he either gave me 30 points one week, or a measly 3 the next. Make no mistake about it though, Jackson is a beast, and he will absolutely provide a deep threat for Josh Freeman, whose hasn’t ever had one considering his other receivers Mike Williams and Arrelious Benn are more short-range targets.

Final Verdict: Good Move

Marques Colston

Marques Colston has re-signed a 5-year contract with the Saints for $40 million. He was one of the top three free agents that the Saints wanted to try and bring back for the 2012 season. This was an important move, and Colston expressed his feelings about really wanting to stay with the team, and not chase his free agency. Colston accepting the rose from the Saints definitely looks like a match made to last, IF of course, they can finally see the light and sign Drew Brees to a long-term deal. This move was especially essential for the Saints, with Robert Meachem’s recent departure to the Chargers.

Final Verdict: Good Move

Randy Moss

Welcome aboard Randy Moss? Moss fits the profile of the “crazy, mean girl” everyone loves to trash from The Bachelor. It seems laughable that Moss is trying to become Mr. Comeback, but he did something to impress the 49ers, and they signed him to a one-year deal. Will Moss be worth it? This is really something we’ll all need to stay tuned for. Moss is saying he can still bring it and he’s ready for a fresh start, but that’s yet to be seen. If anyone can keep him in line however, it will be Jim Harbaugh.

Final Verdict: To Be Determined

Calvin Johnson

Calvin Johnson a.k.a. Megatron just got a record-breaking deal with the Detroit Lions. The Lions signed Johnson to a seven-year contract extension that is the richest deal ever given a wide receiver. The $132 million contract, which will keep Johnson in Detroit through the 2019 season, includes $60 million guaranteed and tops the $120 million deal the Arizona Cardinals gave Larry Fitzgerald last year. Is this too outrageous? Or does Johnson deserve every cent? As long as he plays consistently and doesn’t get injured, Megatron is a nightmare match up for every corner in the league; no one can cover him 1-on-1. This looks like a great move from the Lions, and I think we will see many more career-best seasons from Megatron.

Final Verdict: Great Move

So who will really make it to the end, left standing for that final rose? Which teams and which players will last the test of time? With twists and turns along the way, it’s safe to say that the NFL offseason can be just as exciting as the regular season…or at least as exciting as a popular reality show.